my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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