i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
