A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
