Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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