Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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