YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
