Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
