Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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