I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
