i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
thus making me awesome and them whores
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
