Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
