ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
