Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize
