Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
