Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I could fuck to npr.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
