This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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