You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
