Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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