i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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