She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
