By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
