So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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