Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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