Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
