Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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