Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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