I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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