I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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