were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i out mim tonsoeep
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