Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
