Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
