You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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