I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
