I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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