I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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