Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
