I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
