Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
