I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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