i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
