I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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