Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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