I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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