This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
