I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
