So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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