So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
