By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
