I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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