brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
