you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
